Hi there,
Happy Monday!
Here’s your weekly dose of The Monday 3: a quote, an insight and an action I’m taking.
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A quote I’m pondering
It may be that time away from a work, an idea of ourselves, or a committed partner is the very essence of appreciation for the other, for the work and for the life of another; to be able to let them alone as we let ourselves alone, to live something that feels like a choice again, to find ourselves alone as a looked-for achievement, not a state to which we have been condemned.
David Whyte – Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words
An insight
We try to control our impulses all the time in order to change behaviour whether that’s sugar, alcohol or doom scrolling.
But the nuance of changing behaviour is the opposite and counterintuitive. Rather than control the impulse, we need to learn to fully accept it as simply an impulse and then make the preferred different choice.
Simple but not easy.
An action I’m taking
Kind Hands is a 1 min practice that can help us deal with challenging or difficult internal experiences.
Notice the uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, sensations in your body. Where do you feel them?
Then lift both hands, palm upwards facing the sky, and fill each of them with as much kindness as you can. Breathe into them. After all, these hands have helped you do extraordinary things – creating, cooking, hugging pets, friends and loved ones…
Then place your hands gently on or above the parts of your body where you feel the discomfort and let the kindness meet the discomfort. Not to make it go away, but to acknowledge it and make room for it.
I find this practice helps turn self-compassion from an intellectual idea to a physical and physiological experience.
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Is there one of these that really stood out for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts or suggestions whether that’s a favourite quote or something else.
I hope you have a great week ahead.
With love,
Toby
PS: Facing significant challenge – or wanting to lift your game? I work with individuals and teams to build resilience and adaptability through change, elevate performance and find fulfilment. If that’s you, or someone you know, please email me: tj@tobyajenkins.com.
