Happy Monday!

Here’s your weekly dose of The Monday 3: a quote, an insight and an action I’m taking.

With love,

Toby

A quote I’m pondering

It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.

Ursula K. Le Guin - multi-award winning author of The Left Hand of Darkness

An insight

Through depth you rise.

The depth of your practice.

The depth of your knowledge.

The depth of your experience.

The depth of your relationship.

The depth of your presence.

All of these elevate the conditions for incredible outcomes and, perhaps most importantly, the chance to appreciate the moments in the process.

An action I’m taking

I’m slowing down the pace of conversation. Give it some breathing space rather than rushing from topic to topic or simply to the next thing.

Is there one of these that really stood out for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts or suggestions, whether that’s a favourite quote or something else.

I hope you have a great week ahead.

With love,

Toby

PS: Want to take this further?

I work with people to step up through change and growth.

If that’s you or someone you know, drop me an email: tj@tobyajenkins.com.

Happy Monday!

Here’s your weekly dose of The Monday 3: a quote, an insight and an action I’m taking.

With love,

Toby

A quote I’m pondering

Reflection without action is ultimately as unproductive as action without reflection.

Robert Kegan - Professor in Adult Learning and Professional Development at Harvard and author of Immunity to Change

An insight

The book Immunity To Change (by Robert Kegan) presents a 4 step framework to address the deeper motivations we all have to protect the status quo in order to remain safe.

These 4 questions guide you through it:

• What is your positive meaningful goal or desired behaviour?
• What are your behaviours that actively work against your stated goal?
• If you stop your obstructive behaviour, what terrible or uncomfortable thing might happen to you?
• What does this reveal about an unexamined belief or rule about yourself and the world that makes your competing commitment feel like an absolute truth?

An action I’m taking

In situations of heightened emotions, I’m focusing on deepening my presence to sit with the person rather than trying to change or fix.

Is there one of these that really stood out for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts or suggestions, whether that’s a favourite quote or something else.

I hope you have a great week ahead.

With love,

Toby

PS: Want to take this further?

I work with people to step up through change and growth.

If that’s you or someone you know, drop me an email: tj@tobyajenkins.com.

Happy Monday!

Here’s your weekly dose of The Monday 3: a quote, an insight and an action I’m taking.

With love,

Toby

A quote I’m pondering

If you really want to be a game changer, become a master observer. Just the willingness to stop and look at things that no one else has even bothered to look at enables game changers to identify real points of meaning. The simple process of focusing on things that are normally taken for granted can be a source of great power and creativity… We learn when we observe, we pick up on clues, we figure things out. That is what preparation is all about.

Peyton Manning - NFL quarterback with the most MVP awards

An insight

When someone asks you: “What do you think?”, it can be easy to leap into advice mode.

A more useful starting place is to help them explore their own thinking.

Rarely do you need more opinions.

Often you need to clarify your own.

An action I’m taking

As performance expectations get higher, recovery becomes more important. It allows you to manage your load and energy in order to deliver on what truly matters at work and at home.

Consider your daily, weekly, monthly, annual and multi-year time horizons because not all moments are created equal.

I’ve locked the first week of each school holidays and an extended break at Christmas to take time with the family. It’s much easier to plan and work around once it’s in the diary than to jam it in closer to the time.

Is there one of these that really stood out for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts or suggestions, whether that’s a favourite quote or something else.

I hope you have a great week ahead.

With love,

Toby

PS: Want to take this further?

I work with people to step up through change and growth.

If that’s you or someone you know, drop me an email: tj@tobyajenkins.com.

Happy Monday!

Here’s your weekly dose of The Monday 3: a quote, an insight and an action I’m taking.

With love,

Toby

A quote I’m pondering

Your job, throughout your entire life, is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself.

Glennon Doyle - Author and activist

An insight

In situations of major change, a big part of the transition is the perceived threat to identity.

If this changes, where does that leave me?

If I am not (my role), who am I?

What will I do now?

This can feel existential especially when that change is around the work you do.

Solely in terms of hours, work constitutes so much of your day that to exit a company, to change jobs or careers or to have your role disrupted by AI all can feel daunting.

Alongside major transitions are the loss of systems and structure provided by organisations as well as the perceived erosion of competence and relevance to personal and professional networks.

It is the fear of all of these things that can hold you back even if the change is positive.

An action I’m taking

In conversation I’m practicing extending silence to elicit depth, space and insight.

Is there one of these that really stood out for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts or suggestions, whether that’s a favourite quote or something else.

I hope you have a great week ahead.

With love,

Toby

PS: Want to take this further?

I work with people to step up through change and growth.

If that’s you or someone you know, drop me an email: tj@tobyajenkins.com.

Happy Monday!

Here’s your weekly dose of The Monday 3: a quote, an insight and an action I’m taking.

With love,

Toby

A quote I’m pondering

The first step of any meaningful pursuit is to severely underestimate its difficulty.

Sara Hooker - computer scientist and one of TIME's 2024 list of the most influential people in AI

An insight

Conviction is a currency. It is a critical tool to find self, team and organisational alignment.

Rather than trying to reduce or remove stress and pressure, another approach is to dial up importance.

Find what you most deeply care about and then when it comes to the inevitable uncomfortable action, recognise that: “It’s too important not to.”

That’s when you’ll know you have high conviction.

Where do you have high conviction? How will you apply it?

An action I’m taking

Ask a question and then stay out of the space.

I find this hard but I know, having done it numbers of times now, just how powerful it can be to let others find their own solutions.

Is there one of these that really stood out for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts or suggestions, whether that’s a favourite quote or something else.

I hope you have a great week ahead.

With love,

Toby

PS: Want to take this further?

I work with people to step up through change and growth.

If that’s you or someone you know, drop me an email: tj@tobyajenkins.com.

Happy Monday!

Here’s your weekly dose of The Monday 3: a quote, an insight and an action I’m taking.

With love,

Toby

A quote I’m pondering

A step backwards after making a wrong turn is a step in the right direction.

Kurt Vonnegut - author and satirist

An insight

You fight to optimise in accordance with someone else’s ideas of what should or shouldn’t be.

Instead, what does your intuition say for you?

What if you worked how you’re wired?

An action I’m taking

Try this question: “If you had one week left to live, how would you spend the time?”

Is there one of these that really stood out for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts or suggestions, whether that’s a favourite quote or something else.

I hope you have a great week ahead.

With love,

Toby

PS: Want to take this further?

I work with people to step up through change and growth.

If that’s you or someone you know, drop me an email: tj@tobyajenkins.com.

Happy Monday!

Here’s your weekly dose of The Monday 3: a quote, an insight, and an action I’m taking.

With love,

Toby

A quote I’m pondering

I believe in maximum flexibility, so I reserve the right to change my position on any subject when the external environment relating to any topic changes too.

Henry Singleton - Electrical engineer, executive and rancher.

An insight

Sometimes your best move is to enjoy being right where you are.

An action I’m taking

I’m enjoying experimenting with this question in work settings: “What brought you here today?”

Is there one of these that really stood out for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts or suggestions, whether that’s a favourite quote or something else.

I hope you have a great week ahead.

With love,

Toby

PS: Want to take this further?

I work with CEOs and their teams to get clarity, align values, and drive performance through periods of intense growth and change.

If that’s you or someone you know, email me: tj@tobyajenkins.com.

Happy Monday!

Here’s your weekly dose of The Monday 3: a quote, an insight, and an action I’m taking.

With love,

Toby

A quote I’m pondering

Slowness means cleaving perfectly to time, so closely that the seconds fall one by one, drop by drop like the steady dripping of a tap on stone. This stretching of time deepens space. It is one of the secrets of walking: a slow approach to landscapes that gradually renders them familiar.

Frédéric Gros - French philosopher and author of A Philosophy of Walking

An insight

You’ve been conditioned to feel embarrassed by emotions.

And yet at the heart of all emotion is a kernel of truth trying to tell you something.

Even if in the moment it’s not helpful to express those emotions, can you carve out a quiet space on the drive home or on a walk, to acknowledge them? To see the lesson in them?

An action I’m taking

I’m clarifying my long term vision by refining my long game (100 year vision), practices and goals across twelve categories: Family, Intimate relations, Parenting, Friendship, Work, Finances, Education/training, Recreation, Spirituality, Citizenship/Community life, Physical self-care, Environment.

Is there one of these that really stood out for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts or suggestions, whether that’s a favourite quote or something else.

I hope you have a great week ahead.

With love,

Toby

PS: Want to take this further?

I work with CEOs and their teams to get clarity, align values, and drive performance through periods of intense growth and change.

If that’s you or someone you know, email me: tj@tobyajenkins.com.

Happy Monday!

Here’s your weekly dose of The Monday 3: a quote, an insight, and an action I’m taking.

With love,

Toby

A quote I’m pondering

My mother would always say 'The world doesn’t need another album.’ And I would say, ‘Yeah, you’re right, the world doesn’t need it. But I do. I’m not doing it for out there' (she placed a hand over her heart) 'I’m doing it for in here.'

Suzanne Ciani - Grammy nominee musician, sound designer, composer and record label executive

An insight

We don't need to absorb others’ emotions, or try to solve them.

Instead, we can learn to hold the space for them.

Simply by listening and creating the container where they can feel heard can be enough.

An action I’m taking

When public speaking I use my values as my opening lines.

Gratitude becomes “Thank you for x.”

Love becomes “I love sharing this…”

Exploration becomes “We’re going to be exploring…”

And so on.

This anchors me in the present and in how I want to show up independent of how I’m feeling - which is always nervous.

Is there one of these that really stood out for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts or suggestions, whether that’s a favourite quote or something else.

I hope you have a great week ahead.

With love,

Toby

PS: Want to take this further?

I work with CEOs and their teams to get clarity, align values, and drive performance through periods of intense growth and change.

If that’s you or someone you know, email me: tj@tobyajenkins.com.

Happy Monday!

Here’s your weekly dose of The Monday 3: a quote, an insight and an action I’m taking.

With love,

Toby

A quote I’m pondering

You can’t shake hands with a closed fist.

Indira Ghandi - India’s first (and the world’s second) female Prime Minister

An insight

It’s easy to get caught up in the doing, in the project, in the work you derive satisfaction from.

It makes sense. It feels safe. You’re competent there.

But when will you pull back, zoom out, expand your perspective?

When will you determine the outcomes that matter, that make the doing important in the first place?

When will you carve out the time to lift your eyes, to reconnect and say “That’s why.”?

That’s where clarity, motivation and growth lies.

An action I’m taking

Questions and silence are practices that create a container for people to find their own solutions.

Is there one of these that really stood out for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts or suggestions, whether that’s a favourite quote or something else.

I hope you have a great week ahead.

With love,

Toby

PS: Want to take this further?

I work with CEOs and their teams to get clarity, align values, and drive performance through periods of intense growth and change.

If that’s you or someone you know, email me: tj@tobyajenkins.com.

Happy Monday!

Here’s your weekly dose of The Monday 3: a quote, an insight and an action I’m taking.

With love,

Toby

A quote I’m pondering

Home isn't where you're from, it's where you find light when all grows dark.

Pierce Brown - #1 NYT bestselling author, Red Rising Saga

An insight

Today doesn’t seem to make a difference, and yet it’s the only time that does.

An action I’m taking

Rather than giving advice, I’m testing the GROW question set:

What is your Goal?

What is the Reality?

What are your Options?

What is the Way forward?

Is there one of these that really stood out for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts or suggestions, whether that’s a favourite quote or something else.

I hope you have a great week ahead.

With love,

Toby

PS: Want to take this further?

I work with CEOs and their teams to get clarity, align values, and drive performance through periods of intense growth and change.

If that’s you or someone you know, email me: tj@tobyajenkins.com.

Happy Monday!

Here’s your weekly dose of The Monday 3: a quote, an insight and an action I’m taking.

With love,

Toby

A quote I’m pondering

I ask myself: are defeats necessary?

Well, necessary or not, they happen. When we first begin fighting for a dream, we have no experience and make mistakes. The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.

Paulo Coelho - author of The Alchemist

An insight

Fulfilment lies in the process of moving towards what matters. Then falling short. Then getting back up to move towards again.

While goals can provide this, they are by definition completable and the fulfilment therefore limited.

To find enduring fulfilment, what matters must be unattainable, unachievable or incompletable. Like relationships, health, service, contribution, learning…

If you know what matters to you and it fits into this latter category, then that’s where you’ll find enduring fulfilment.

An action I’m taking

To cry when I feel like crying is my body’s way of coming to terms with something important. Tears unlock acceptance.

Is there one of these that really stood out for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts or suggestions, whether that’s a favourite quote or something else.

I hope you have a great week ahead.

With love,

Toby

PS: Want to take this further?

I work with CEOs and their teams to get clarity, align values, and drive performance through periods of intense growth and change.

If that’s you or someone you know, email me: tj@tobyajenkins.com.

Happy Monday!

Here’s your weekly dose of The Monday 3: a quote, an insight and an action I’m taking.

With love,

Toby

A quote I’m pondering

When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.

Dalai Lama

An insight

I went to a breakfast where the only topic off limits was what you do for work. Instead, the opening prompt was: Share a story from your life of something that has shaped you.

That simple start forged a completely different, much deeper, more human conversation.

What story would you choose to share? Why?

Or perhaps from a different frame: Is there a story you wouldn’t share? Why?

An action I’m taking

I’m checking in with myself to make sure that what I say in private, I would say in public.

Would I say this if they were in the room with me?

Is there one of these that really stood out for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts or suggestions, whether that’s a favourite quote or something else.

I hope you have a great week ahead.

With love,

Toby

PS: Want to take this further?

I work with CEOs and their teams to get clarity, align values, and drive performance through periods of intense growth and change.

If that’s you or someone you know, email me: tj@tobyajenkins.com

Happy Monday!

Here’s your weekly dose of The Monday 3: a quote, an insight and an action I’m taking.

With love,

Toby

A quote I’m pondering

The man I meet with is not often so instructive as the silence he breaks.

Henry David Thoreau - American naturalist, essayist, poet, and philosopher

An insight

I like the word "integration" when speaking about coming to terms with difficult past experiences.

You can’t delete the difficult or unhelpful memories, thoughts, or feelings. What you can do is change your relationship to them. To bring them home, to unhook from their power, and to see them for the story they are.

Through integration you can have the best of both worlds: an acknowledgement of the challenge of the experience and the clarity of the lesson that can serve you in the future.

An action I’m taking

The Aussie Sharks mens’ water polo team played their hearts out in the World Cup quarter final in Sydney. Highs, lows, heartbreak, elation. It was the full spectacle of what sport can provide a player, a coach, a team, an organisation and a crowd.

I loved being at the pool and watching it live. Such a gift to share that whole human experience.

Is there one of these that really stood out for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts or suggestions, whether that’s a favourite quote or something else.

I hope you have a great week ahead.

With love,

Toby

PS: Want to take this further?

I work with business owners and their teams to get clarity, align values, and drive performance through periods of intense growth and change.

If that’s you or someone you know, email me: tj@tobyajenkins.com.

Happy Monday!

Here’s your weekly dose of The Monday 3: a quote, an insight and an action I’m taking.

With love,

Toby

A quote I’m pondering

This day will never come again and anyone who fails to eat and drink and taste and smell it will never have it offered to them again in all eternity. The sun will never shine as it does today.

Hermann Hesse - Nobel prize winning poet and novelist - Klingsor's Last Summer

An insight

Our minds are storytellers, not historians.

Your mind doesn’t have perfect recall of events. Not the truth. Not wholly right. Not wholly wrong.

The stories you tell yourself, “good” or “bad”, can hugely influence your behaviour.

Just remember: Your mind isn’t always kind. Your mind isn’t always helpful.

Is there a story you’ve been holding onto that may no longer serve you?

An action I’m taking

I write as a way to reflect. I write as a way to process thoughts and experiences. I write as a way to find clarity.

My bench mark for writing is that it must be useful to me even if no one else ever reads it.

Is there one of these that really stood out for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts or suggestions, whether that’s a favourite quote or something else.

I hope you have a great week ahead.

With love,

Toby

PS: Want to take this further?

I work with business owners and their teams to get clarity, align values, and drive performance through periods of intense growth and change.

If that’s you or someone you know, email me: tj@tobyajenkins.com.

Happy Monday!

Here’s your weekly dose of The Monday 3: a quote, an insight and an action I’m taking.

With love,

Toby

A quote I’m pondering

Death is not an event in life: we do not live to experience death. If we take eternity to mean not infinite temporal duration but timelessness, then eternal life belongs to those who live in the present.

Ludwig Wittgenstein - Austro-British philosopher

An insight

If you look for balance, you’ll find tradeoffs and tension.

If you look for alignment, you’ll find everything you do serving everything else.

I’m a skeptic on achieving balance, but an advocate for finding alignment.

An action I’m taking

I love walking with family, friends and clients. It changes the quality and depth of the conversation. There’s something special about walking together, feeling as though you’re both heading in the same direction.

So I’m loving reading this book: A Philosophy of Walking by Frédéric Gros. (Hat tip to Pete for the recommendation.)

Is there one of these that really stood out for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts or suggestions, whether that’s a favourite quote or something else.

I hope you have a great week ahead.

With love,

Toby

PS: Want to take this further?

I work with business owners and their teams to get clarity, align values, and drive performance through periods of intense growth and change.

If that’s you or someone you know, email me: tj@tobyajenkins.com.

Happy Monday!

Here’s your weekly dose of The Monday 3: a quote, an insight and an action I’m taking.

With love,

Toby

A quote I’m pondering

Think of yourself in a concert hall listening to the strains of the sweetest music when you suddenly remember that you forgot to lock your car. You are anxious about the car, you cannot walk out of the hall and you cannot enjoy the music. There you have a perfect image of life as it is lived by most human beings.

Anthony de Mello - Jesuit priest, psychotherapist and author of The Way to Love

An insight

I’ve been trying to teach my daughters to surf for years and they’ve made some progress.

But on the holidays I enrolled them in Surf Camp Down Under in Yamba with Shayne - a coach I’ve used myself. He’s coached more than 20,000 people and in 3 sessions in 3 days made progress with my girls that would have taken me many more years.

Seems obvious in hindsight, but the messenger matters. You can try to teach all you like, but sometimes it’s worth investing in other voices.

An action I’m taking

We surprised our daughters with a new puppy. There were tears and laughter.

Their reactions: “I just died.” “My lungs are full of love hearts.” “Every single one of my cells is exploding.”

I can’t put a price on those.

Is there one of these that really stood out for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts or suggestions, whether that’s a favourite quote or something else.

I hope you have a great week ahead.

With love,

Toby

PS: Want to take this further?

I work with business owners and their teams to get clarity, align values, and drive performance through periods of intense growth and change.

If that’s you or someone you know, email me: tj@tobyajenkins.com.

Happy Monday!

Here’s your weekly dose of The Monday 3: a quote, an insight and an action I’m taking.

With love,

Toby

A quote I’m pondering

The suffering itself is not so bad, it's the resentment against suffering that is the real pain.

Allen Ginsberg - beat poet and counter-cultural advocate

An insight

There is always a part of you that feels as though it’s recording. This is the observing self.

You can step back and watch, listen and document your actions, thoughts and emotions and realise that this awareness is always there.

It can be useful to connect to this perspective as it can help you recognise that there is continuity of self and a part of you that is apparently untouched by the trials and tribulations of the day.

An action I’m taking

It is always more fun, and nearly always a deeper experience, to meditate and do breathwork with others.

Is there one of these that really stood out for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts or suggestions, whether that’s a favourite quote or something else.

I hope you have a great week ahead.

With love,

Toby

PS: Want to take this further?

I work with business owners and their teams to get clarity, align values, and drive performance through periods of intense growth and change.

If that’s you or someone you know, email me: tj@tobyajenkins.com.

Happy Monday!

Here’s your weekly dose of The Monday 3: a quote, an insight and an action I’m taking.

With love,

Toby

A quote I’m pondering

It is the nature of man to rise to greatness if greatness is expected of him.

John Steinbeck - American author and winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature

An insight

Stress isn’t the enemy. While it’s uncomfortable, stress can hold a kernel of truth.

Rather than judging these internal experiences as “good” or "bad," the better option is to ask a question:

Is this useful to me?

An action I’m taking

Wherever possible, I’m looking for ways to include physical movement in activities in workshops and presentations.

Rather than simply understanding a concept intellectually, movement can crystallise additional depth of insight.

Is there one of these that really stood out for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts or suggestions, whether that’s a favourite quote or something else.

I hope you have a great week ahead.

With love,

Toby

PS: Want to take this further?

I work with business owners and their teams to get clarity, align values, and drive performance through periods of intense growth and change.

If that’s you or someone you know, email me: tj@tobyajenkins.com.

Happy Monday!

Here’s your weekly dose of The Monday 3: a quote, an insight and an action I’m taking.

With love,

Toby

A quote I’m pondering

Some things are up to us and some are not up to us. Our opinions are up to us, and our impulses, desires, aversions—in short, whatever is our own doing. Our bodies are not up to us, nor are our possessions, our reputations, or our public offices, or, that is, whatever is not our own doing. The things that are up to us are by nature free, unhindered, and unimpeded; the things that are not up to us are weak, enslaved, hindered, not our own.

Epictetus - Stoic philosopher and emancipated slave

An insight

In architecting behaviour change, it helps hold two distinct perspectives: your longest possible game and your smallest possible immediate action.

Your longest game might be to chase grandkids around a park or be able to travel around the world at 80 yrs old.

Then the immediate action needs to be the smallest possible within the current set of constraints.

Rather than “I must walk for 30 mins”, try walking around the block right now. Rather than “I need to catch up with that person for lunch”, try sending a text message or a voice note right now.

Then the ball is rolling, momentum has begun and you can keep building from there.

An action I’m taking

In developing the art of perspective taking, I’m practicing this exercise from Professor Steven Hayes. It’s designed to help recognise the distinction between awareness and the content of awareness.

Take a breath. Focus on an experience. Then restate the experience in three forms:

1. I am aware of [state the content].
2. I am not [state the content].
3. I contain awareness of [state the content].

Eg: I am aware of tension. I am not tension. I contain awareness of tension.

Is there one of these that really stood out for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts or suggestions whether that’s a favourite quote or something else.

I hope you have a great week ahead.

With love,

Toby

PS: Want to take this further?

I work with business owners and their teams to get clarity, align values and drive performance through periods of intense growth and change.

If that’s you, or someone you know, email me: tj@tobyajenkins.com